A Letter to the Editor

Dear Plague writers, artists, and humorists,

Fantastic work curating the best events, memories, and people from New York City! You must be so proud of yourselves. I look back at my time at New York’s University and am reminded of fond memories, like the time I judged a coed wet tee-shirt contest in the Washington Square Park Fountain and hosted a darty in the secret basement of Bobst Library (before it was converted into another useless study space).

As an alum, it warms my heart to see young folks appreciating Greenwich Village, the Lower East Side, and various other south-eastern regions and cultures. I remember when NYU did have a gate, and a key, and the only man given the key was a member of the Gallatin family. This was during a time when the doctor still made you take your pants off, while women were still nurses. Now, women can be anything they want to be and the doctor still makes you take your pants off! Some things never change. 

Plague is the most evergreen part of the city’s culture, providing laymen in suits and cocaine addictions with laughs. One of the reasons I taught my disgusting children how to read was so that they can appreciate the strange comedy of Plague. New York is the only place you can be from anywhere you want to be from. As a true New Yorker, I endorse PlagueOut NY.

Warmest wishes and most sincere congratulations,

Alec Baldwin*

*A sunburned man in an airbrushed Disney World tank top approached us and insisted he was Alec Baldwin from Mad TV. We had no choice but to publish his writings here.